Task 1

Today, I am curious and adventurous, though sometimes passive. I am daring, and yet at the same time fearfull of how my actions will be percieved by others. I am a wanderer, both in mind and in body. I am naturally attracted to ideas that deviate from the societal norm, and yet I am still a conformist. I am conflicted, conflicted with who I am and who I wish I was; conflicted in what I say and what I do, in how I feel and how I act. But I care. I care about others and how they are treated. I care about environment. Above all, I am priviledged. for having the wonderful, supportive, and caring parents; for getting a spectacular education that has allowed me to continue onto college, and to be able to study abroad in a foreign country, and learn so much about myself. I thnk it is most important, to remain conscious of this characteristic. Because I am so lucky. and if I dont acknowledge that, I am dooming myself to a life of unfulfilled selfish expectations. I know there is more to it than me, and therefore, I have a responsibility to utilize what I have been given to help others.
I feel like a hypocrtic, for being selfish, and being wasteful, and being hurtful to others. I feel passionate, and I feel energetic. and at the same time, I sometimes feel unmotivated. I feel conflicted... I want to be the positive change that I demand out of others. I want to learn how to harness my passion and energy to do things that will fix societal problems, instead of just complaining about what I think is wrong.
I have no idea what I want to do in the future. In the short term, I want to be a teacher, and I know that I will want to stay in the academic arena. I think that this is the case, partially because I feel like it is the easiest way for me produce positivity within my community. I dont want to be a business man, but I have a dream of running my own resturant. Maybe my resturant would be able to donate all of the extra food that it generated to a local homeless shelter. I also know, that my perspective may be a little naive at this point. I am from a middle-class family in Oakland, California. I have never gone to bed hungry because I couldnt afford it. and moreover, I have never had to think about having a family of my own, the responsibility to provide for your loved ones. I am idealistic and self-critical at the same time. I suppose it is all part of getting to know myself. I know that I will want the best thing possible for my kids and wife, just like my parents wanted for me. And yet, I know that I will still need to do something else to help others that have been given such privilege.